Republicans Reveal Transgender Bathroom Plan

By Andrew Fletcher

Congressional Republicans revealed a plan over the weekend that they believe will solve the debate over whether transgender men and women should be allowed to use the bathroom matching their gender identity or not. This plan “will essentially settle the issue for good,” according to a party insider.

The outline of the plan begins with, “We will build a STALL! A big, beautiful stall. And we will make Caitlyn Jenner pay for it!” The plan continues in thorough detail as it describes the initial problem. It states, “The LGBTQ community is not sending its best. They’re bringing change, they’re bringing uncomfortable situations and most, we assume, are good people with an incredible fashion sense.”

The inevitable backlash that the plan faced was swift and strong. Critics called it “radical,” “bigoted,” and “uncalled for,” but as CNN political analyst David Gergen put it, “at least the GOP now seems unified behind its presidential candidate.” Party leadership declined to comment on that analysis.

The massive media coverage that resulted from the plan has certainly caught the attention of the American people. “Transgender bill” became the second-most searched for item on Google, right behind “Move to Canada.”

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